GPS for the Soul

In my search for LLC (Living LIfe Creatively) I often stumble upon apps that make promises of doing this or that to make your life better. Since one of my goals is to help you live your life in a more creative, nurturing, uplifting and fulfilling way, I wanted to share the latest app I've come across that seems to deliver on its promises.

I'm an avid reader of the Huffington Post and love Ariana's section called GPS for the Soul. Several of you discovered this blog from an article they did about my post Face the Fear.

Not only is GPS for the Soul choc-a-bloc full of great articles and ideas for living life creatively, it is now a killer app for taking time for yourself in the middle of a hectic workday and checking in with yourself to see where you are on the scale of relaxation.

By placing your finger over the camera and flash of your phone, the app checks your heart rate and the variations it is making and lets you know if you are in stress mode. It then makes recommendations on different guides you can follow in order to take a mini vacation from stress right at your desk, parked in your car or lying in bed

You can choose from many different guides: meditation, yoga, breathing exercises or inspirational slide shows and while listening to or watching the guides, a breathing guide comes on to the screen to encourage you to breathe more deeply and slowly - something I always highly encourage.

At the end of the guide, you are encouraged to check in again and I think you'll find that if you try this app when you are feeling stressed, you'll definitely feel more relaxed after using it than when you started.

Another great feature of this app is that you can create your own guides to share with others or just use for yourself. You can use music they provide or your own, add photos from your camera roll or the internet and type in affirmations and inspirational quotes. The next time you need a quick shot of inspiration, load up your personally made guide, put on your headphones, and RELAX and BREATHE to messages you've created for yourself.

If you are working on YOU, LLC, I highly recommend this easy to use and beautifully designed app to help you in your quest to live life fully and creatively. See you next time for more ways to LLC!

How to be the Luckiest Person Alive

Tivoli Bays (a lucky place) photo by Wayne Pyle

The title of today's post comes from James Altucher's blog post about How to Be the Luckiest Guy on the Planet in 4 Easy Steps. There's a link to his original post at the bottom of this one.

He recommends 4 practices: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

He says that when he practices these daily, he ends up being the luckiest guy alive and when he lets these practices go, he ends up in the downward spiral that I seem to find myself in right now.

So, I'm taking on Jimmy's ideas and I'll explore them here and post about how they are going for me.

I started today with the physical.

Let me preface this by saying that we lost our house a few months ago and it was quite difficult emotionally, financially, physically and mentally, but it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I'm not a big believer in home ownership. To me it's a really expensive box to put all of your crap in. George Carlin said that first, I believe, and I've always took it to heart. Do we really need to go in debt to the banks in order to say I "own" a home?

I don't think it's necessary.

Anyway, we lost our tiny overpriced box and had to move north of where we were living to a tiny village called Tivoli. It's a quirky place with Bard students and famous artists and blue collar workers and has a fabulous bakery and some really great restaurants, a small public library and the place where I'm writing this from - Tivoli Bays. (pictured above)

We still have not been able to get rid of the tiny overpriced box and now the neighborhood kids have been trying to steal things out of the shed that is still on the property. So I went there last night and emptied the shed, grabbed our bikes, garden tools, an artist's easel and came home.

Today, I rode that bike for the first time in more than a year. The chain slips, the gears don't work right, the thing weighs a ton, but I was able to move through space and get out of the house and it felt good and right to do that. The photo I took is a result of that ride.

I'm sitting on a dock right now typing this, instead of being in the house we are sharing with a friend, and the loons are calling and the trains are blowing their whistles and the wind is rushing through the marsh grass and I do, indeed feel lucky.

The mental aspect of James' practice is about making lists and coming up with ideas and I've been putting that into practice as well. I teach a screenwriting class at a local community college and the thing that seems to be the most difficult for some of them is coming up with ideas. James' recommendation is to make lists of ideas until your brain hurts. I made a few today, ideas for screenplays, ways to make more money with less frustrating work, book ideas, ideas for leading a more creative, nurturing, uplifting and fulfilling life. His theory, as I understand it, is that by making these lists, our brains have to fulfill some of them at some point. We get a brain itch and our bodies have to scratch it!

Emotionally, James recommends letting go of negative people in your life. One of the things I've done recently is purge negative people from my Facebook page. At first it felt scary because I genuinely like people, even the negative ones. But after I pushed that button that said "unfriend" and "block" I felt relief. I don't really use Facebook that much anymore anyway. I find it to be a giant bathroom wall with graffiti scribbled on it, "Like me", "I eat spinach", "My girlfriend dumped me", "Look how cute I am", "Come and play with me" and it's mentally exhausting. 

I do like seeing friends' photos, but I've realized that I have not really seen any of my friends face-to-face in a really long time and I want to start to change that. When I'm with friends and we are just hanging out, talking about life, laughing, playing, I feel like I've been plugged into a phone charger and my green battery signal is going up and up and up. Right now, I really only spend time with people if I'm working with them. I work and work and work and then when I get home I work some more. 

As Jack Nicholson's character in THE SHINING says, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Probably an unlucky one, too.

The final practice is spiritual. I'm not religious. But, like James, I do find that reading books by spiritual leaders, practicing meditation, doing yoga, being in nature are all very spiritual things that make me feel more connected to the world. I've also found some great apps like Omvana that allow you to create and play guided meditations and that leads to a spiritual practice in a different way. I'm not connected to Omvana in any way, I just really like their app. Let me know if you try it and what you think.

Sitting out here on this dock on the bay and listening to the world existing around me is a spiritual experience and I do feel lucky to be here.

Here's the link to James' original post:

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/how-to-be-the-luckiest-guy-on-the-planet-in-4-easy-steps/

Be lucky!

You can follow me on Twitter @waynepyle and follow James @jaltucher or buy his book How to Be the Luckiest Person Alive by clicking the link below. (As an Amazon associate, I get some pennies just to say, "Look, pennies." Thank you!)

                                                                      

How to be More Creative NOW

First, a quick quiz to see if you're creative. Follow the instructions carefully!

1. Put the pointer and middle fingers of your right hand on the underside of your left wrist right under the pad of the thumb. Do you feel your pulse? If you're not sure, try question two.
2. Place your right hand over your heart (located on the left side of your body). Do you feel your heart beating? Still not sure? Proceed to question three.
3. Place your left hand in front of your mouth and nose. Breathe. Do you feel air hitting your hand?

If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, congratulations! You ARE creative because you are still alive. You may not feel creative or be as creative as you'd like to be but we'll address that in a second.

If you answered "no" to any of the above, please stop reading this blog and seek medical attention immediately.

 
A lot of us don't feel creative because we have this mistaken idea that creativity means pursuing some kind of arts related activity. Even though the arts can definitely improve your creative thinking you don't have to be a writer, artist or musician to be creative.

Some of us have this expectation that our creativity has to somehow match or exceed someone we hold as our creative "ideal". Some us worry that we took a few minutes out our day one time a few years ago to be creative and we never finished the creative task we started, so we must somehow be flawed because creativity didn't come to us instantly. Some us are afraid that making room for creativity in our lives will somehow disappoint us. Some of us are just plain afraid.

Here are few simple exercises to be more creative NOW:

Don't forget to BREATHE. 

What happens when we don't breathe? We die. 

The same thing happens when we pursue a creative endeavor and we don't breathe deeply because of fear or anxiety. Shallow breaths cause us to starve our brains of oxygen and send more to our limbs so that we can take flight or stand and fight. 

When you are doing something creative you might want to have your brain working at full power. So remember to take deep breaths as you work. Resist the urge to run away and breathe through it. You'll find that you'll be able to complete your task more easily if you bring your attention back to your breath every now and then. 

Right NOW inhale deeply and hold your breath for three seconds. Now exhale and as you do, let your shoulders drop just a little bit lower that they were before. Instant relaxation that you CREATED. See, you are already a little more creative just by creating relaxation.

Practice VISUALIZATION. Do this right now. Look around the room you are in. Pick something that is in the room with you right now: a chair, your child, the meal you are eating. Breathe deeply and exhale. 

After reading the instructions, close your eyes. With your eyes closed, try to see what you picked in three different ways. 

Could the chair be a different color, a different size, a different design? Could your child be dressed differently, have longer or shorter hair, be taller, older, shorter, younger? Could your meal be larger, smaller, a different color? 

Now think of a way that you could interact differently with the object you picked. Could you use the chair in different ways, other than sitting? Could your child be doing some other activity that could enhance their creativity? Could your meal be created some other way? (Like this 3D printed pizza?) 

Now see your chosen object in a different setting. Put the chair on the moon, in an igloo or a beer hall. See your child at the zoo, on a train, at the beach. See your meal at a fancy restaurant or a French cafe. 

Now have that object offer up a unique perspective. Maybe the chair can give you an idea for a new blog. Maybe your child might tell you about an idea for a class you could teach. Maybe your meal helps you invent a 3D printer for pizza. (Oh, that's already been done!) 

If you were able to do this exercise easily, you are definitely creative. If not you may need a bit more practice or you may just be resisting the exercise. I teach my actors in my acting classes that whatever we resist, persists. When you realize you are resisting and accept it, a lot of times the resistance will disappear! Try it. You might be amazed.

If your resistance is being caused by negative self-talk try this: Get out a pad or paper and some pens or pencils or crayons and draw what your negative voice looks like. Give him or her or it a lot of detail. Now draw your idea of a pure creative spirit, the one you'd like to have. If you like, draw a scene where that character defeats the negative voice with pure creativity. Sometimes picturing what the negative voices look like takes some of their power away. Some people crumple up the negative voice drawings and throw them out, burn them ceremoniously or turn them into something useful. Discover for yourself what works best for you. 

You might find that you found enjoyment in the doing of some of these exercises. Finding the joy in the process of creativity is one of the strongest motivators for becoming more creative. I highly recommend it! Keep LLC'ing everyone...

 

Creative Sparks at Midnight

The SPARKS of creativity

I'd like to share my campfire with you this evening. I would also like to encourage all of you to take some time, create a fire, sit back and stare into the dancing flames. (If you don't have access to a backyard or campfire, fire one up on your computer on YouTube or use Netflix, it's almost as good.)

As you sit by those dancing flames, something may just spark in your imagination. Write it down, or text yourself, or type it into your laptop and then let it go. Check on it the next day or the next week and see if it leads you anywhere. Then let me know how it goes!

As I sit here warming my toes, (and trying to keep the fire from going out) the thoughts that came to mind tonight were about what a great day of LLC (Living Life Creatively) I had today.

I finished my grades for one of the colleges and turned them in. I worked on my lines for FULLY COMMITTED which I'll be performing in very soon in Binghamton, NY (more on that later). I called one of the playwrights for the 10 Minute Play Festival with the Half Moon Theatre Company which is coming up this weekend and cleared some things up about the script. I got called in and auditioned for a feature film that is shooting in the Hudson Valley in a few weeks and I went to a tech rehearsal for the 10 Minute Play Festival where we set sound levels and blocked entrances and exits. Whew!

The audition for the feature was one of my favorite kinds of auditions (remember audition means to hear). You come in and talk to the director and producer. They get to know you, ask a few questions, you tell them what you've done and where you're from and then you leave. I love meeting filmmakers and creative people and I almost always enjoy talking with them, even if I don't "get the part". I've realized from my many years of doing this that worrying about an audition after you've done it makes the process not really worth it. What's the fun of auditioning for two minutes and then worrying for a week? (toxic thoughts...dump them!)

I try as much as I humanly can to focus on making a connection to the people and to the work and then moving on to the next project. Joy has come back into my life as a result of pursuing this way of working and I highly recommend it.

After the audition, I went to the tech rehearsal. We worked for hours, for free, to try to get the sound and light cues and entrances and exits just right. Why? Because it matters. Beginnings and endings matter. Making great theatre means making strong choices.

We were all engaged fully and when that happens there is an energy in the room that can be felt and used. We didn't get everything perfect, but we got to where we needed to be to give our audience a chance to get something from each of the 10 minute plays by our brilliant playwrights.

At the end of the night, I checked the old iPhone and received a lovely email from one of my students who had done an NPR type of profile piece on me for her Radio Journalism class this past semester. I think it turned out quite well and I'm going to post the link to it here.

She did a really nice job of reporting and letting what happened in class and during our interviews shape the piece. The ending is a funny "staged" bit that she came up with and we improvised around. If you have a few minutes, take a listen. Just click on the Soundcloud image and it'll take you there.

Click this icon, then press PLAY

Have a very creative night around your own campfires. Toast some marshmallows, drink some wine, play the guitar (or didgeridioo, like me). Enjoy Living Life Creatively!

Dumping Toxic Waste is Good

James Altucher recently posted a blog about the loveliness of his migraines and how they were a warning that his thoughts were toxic. (Full post here: LINK)

I recently had a similar experience and wanted to share how it changed my toxic thinking as well.

Just a few weeks ago, the negative mental energy was starting to build. I had recently applied for a full time position at a certain community college for an opening in their Theatre program there. I had been working there as an adjunct for the past three years, mostly in the Communications program, but my degree is in acting and I've been a professional theatre artist for more than 30 years now. I'm thankful for the break that the Communications program gave me to start my teaching career, but I'm really a theatre artist. It's where my strengths are. I'm not sure why the Chair of the Theatre program is uninterested in my work in theatre, but we'll get to that in a moment.

Where my toxic thinking started to affect me was when I decided to apply for that full time position. I wasn't remotely interested in working there full time because of the way the Chair of the Department treats people and (in my opinion) his terrible ideas, attitudes and educational methods. The reason I was applying for the job was because, well, I NEEDED THE MONEY.

As an adjunct teaching in today's higher education system, you get paid one fifth of what your colleagues who are full time get paid. You have to work at many different schools, work other jobs, continue to try to keep up your professional work and try to find some time to spend with your family and (rarely) friends and colleagues. We all have terminal degrees but are making just over poverty level wages. Many adjuncts I know are struggling, really struggling, to pay their bills while working as much as they can in higher education.

When the position opened up I was encouraged by one of my colleagues to apply for the position, but I resisted, knowing that the Chair was not interested in what I had to offer. I had applied for two other positions in the past, both times being turned down for ridiculous reasons. I am highly qualified to teach my subject and all of my student evaluations and the performance of my students in my classes reflect that.

This person, for whatever small and petty reasons he might come up with, does not want to work with me. I know this and I usually say, "Hey, I get it. I'll move on." But this supposed friend and colleague encouraged me to apply anyway. So, I screwed my courage to the sticking place and decided even if I didn't want the job, I'd do my best to get it and then decide later if I actually wanted to take on the position. So I prepared. I smiled. I put together the best interview presentation I could. My family needed me to get this job, so I'd give it my best shot and forget about all the rejections so far.

Day of my interview, my supposed friend shows up 10 minutes late to my interview and sits and frowns the whole time I'm doing my presentation, then refuses to participate in an acting exercise I've used in my classes that has always been very successful!

I was livid.

When I later asked why the person was behaving that way she replied, "I was trying to send you signals that it wasn't going very well." She then told me how terrible the presentation was and how I went over the ten minute time limit, ruining my chances at getting the job.

WHAT?!?!?

The presentation I did was based on a similar presentation at another college that was responsible for enrolling 10 more students into their theatre program. The exercise I did is often cited by students as one of the main reasons they felt comfortable in my classes. What she said makes no sense unless someone already comes in with an attitude that they are not going to like whatever it is that I do.  Besides, I thought she was there for SUPPORT and ENCOURAGEMENT. Boy, was I wrong.

Needless to say, they hired a PhD from outside the state for the job, instead of promoting someone in their community who knows and relates very well to the students. They also told my students that I didn't have the job before they told me. The Chair never contacted me at all and still hasn't.

Anyway...I didn't really want the job, but...I had let all of this negative energy build up (and I needed the money because of the terrible pay of adjuncts) and as I did, I started having these really weird symptoms of extreme pain in the right side of my face, extreme fatigue, shoulder pain, strange migraines with auras and horizontal lines going across my vision, I started to forget the names of things and people, very weird neurological symptoms. So I hit the Google search button with my symptoms and started to worry. Did I have MS? Cancer? Lyme disease? Insanity? Early Alzheimers?

I made an appointment at a neurologist. She did some tests, some bloodwork, I had an MRI. Nothing was wrong with me! Medically. But after reading James' post, I am starting to think that it's the TOXIC THINKING that started to bring me down. When I asked the neurologist what causes migraines. She said, "We don't know. Incorrect chemicals get turned on in the brain. We don't know why." I said, "That's very interesting." TOXIC THINKING TURNS INTO TOXIC CHEMICALS IN THE BRAIN!!!

Those negative thoughts about why so-and-so betrayed me and why such-and-such doesn't like me and why can't I get a full-time position and I-suck-at-everything kinds of thought were having an actual, physical and neurological effect on my body. Applying for a job that I didn't really want because I needed the money and then being upset because I didn't get it...was toxic thinking. Thinking that it mattered somehow in the grand scheme of things what my friend and those people thought about my presentation was toxic thinking and it was making me sick.

Needless to say, I dropped those thoughts. Until just now. And I have to tell you something amazing. As I was writing this, the migraine symptoms started to come back for a second. The top of the computer screen started turning gray and it wasn't the computer, it was an aura, and my head started aching really badly. TOXIC THOUGHTS!!!

As I got down to this section, no lie, it disappeared. And here's the good news. After dumping the toxic thinking and making the decision not to engage with negativity or those negative people any more, my symptoms completely cleared up.

Not only that, but I've been struggling with my blood pressure for hmmmm THREE YEARS (notice that is the same amount of time I've been working at said toxic community college?) and I've been on Bystolic, a beta blocker, for the past two years. My blood pressure was consistenly at 130 over 90 something for several years. Well, after dumping the toxic thinking, dumping the beta blocker and dumping the community college, I went out and bought my first pair of running shoes in 10 years.

Now, I'm not back in the full swing of running again, but I've been running for about two or three weeks off and on, and when I went for my follow-up neurology appointment, my blood pressure, WITHOUT the beta blocker was 120 over 72! No lie. Amazing what dumping toxic thoughts, people and attitudes will do.

And here's the REAL KICKER. Not long after doing all this toxic dumping, I get called into the office of a real friend and real colleague at a four year institution of higher learning that graduates many more professional theatre artists than the community college I've been working for.

I was worried, toxic thoughts started to creep into my brain pan, but I breathed and let them go.

"We've got a temporary, full-time position for you next year, " he said. "If it were up to me, I'd bring you on full time right away." Sure, it's only temporary, but I'll be taking on a lot more responsibility and filling in for some people who are leaving or retiring. It'll be full time and I'll be getting paid enough to not have to go back to the toxic energy of that other place. I can focus on working for one school and one group of students. Dumping the toxic thinking led to what I wanted in the first place, a job with people who are supportive and who are making great theatre and training the next generation of theatre makers.

I highly encourage all of you to see where you are storing your toxic thoughts and dump them right now! Welcome those migraines with their beautiful auras and horizontal gray shadings and lightning pains shooting up the sides of your faces. They are a message from your beautiful brain, "Stop this toxic thinking and dump whatever it is that is causing it or I will put you through hell until you do!"

Live Life Creatively, folks!
Until next time...

Thoughts on the Boston Marathon Bombings

Buzzard's Bay, MA

This past weekend, I was leaving a funeral in Buzzard's Bay, MA for a beloved aunt on my wife's side of the family when I heard about the bombings in Boston. It was the first funeral I'd ever been to where hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects and say goodbye. There was a long line of people that wound its way around the funeral home and out the door into the parking lot.

I was very moved to see that this woman had touched so many lives. She had obviously made a difference in people's lives in her short time on this earth. It made me stop and think, "Have I touched as many lives? What is my contribution to this too short amount of time we all have? What small changes could I be making to make more of a difference?"

As we left Buzzard's Bay my wife, Heidi, reminded me that it was Patriot's Day. I had no idea what that was. I've lived in Boston, but I was working on Lion King at the time and going through the trauma of my divorce, so I didn't really participate in as many of the city's cultural events as I would have liked to.

She also said that it was the day of the Boston Marathon. I had just been thinking that one of things I would still like to do is run a marathon. In my imagination, I saw myself running the 26.2 miles looking around with joy and awe at the people around me going on their own journey. I could feel myself exerting my body, sweating, struggling, talking to myself, urging myself to finish, to just make it one more mile, one more mile. In my revery, I saw Heidi and my young son waiting for me at the finish line, smiling, happy, as I collapsed into their arms.

While imagining all of this, I hit the Twitter button on my phone. I wasn't looking for anything related to the marathon, just seeing what friends were up to. My imagined experience of running a marathon came crashing to a halt when one of my Twitter followers stated, "Oh no, I know some people running the marathon."

My heart jumped. I knew that something bad was happening. This was within 20 minutes of it actually happening. I was amazed at the speed news travels and I quickly searched the web and found out that bombs had gone off - right at the finish line.

The finish line - the goal - the hoped for future - nirvana - bliss - the end of struggle and the beginning of stories told about the race that happened...and suddenly all of that was twisted into a nightmare of human body parts and metal and death and destruction. I was saddened and angry by this news and wondered how best to respond.

How DO we continue to strive to make a difference when every other day the news is filled with these stories of shootings and bombings and revenge and death?

This was now the question on my mind as we drove on, away from Massachusetts and friends and family and back to New York, back to work, back to the students I teach every day at SUNY New Paltz and SUNY Dutchess Community College.

What do we DO?

As I stood before my first class, feeling defeated, feeling like they don't really care about the skills I am teaching them, feeling like they might give up in the face of all this violence, I had a revelation.

What do we do in the face of death and destruction?

We do what all artists have done and continue to do and will continue to do until our sun shrinks to a cold, white dwarf and we are no longer here. We CREATE.

We make something from nothing. We take our lives and experiences and skills and education and we create something new, something that never existed before and we share it with world and say, "Hey, take a look at this, what do you think?"

Sometimes, the world responds back with praise and money and fame and glory and sometimes just your best friend in the whole wide world sees the work and says, "Eh, try again." But the WORK of CREATION continues and will continue and that work, that drive to make beautiful and worthy and challenging things and films and plays and stories and myriad other forms, is light years away from the drive of the person who cobbled together some pressure cookers and ball bearings and blew up a small child and a family and other people who were there to celebrate the gloriousness of human beings and what they can accomplish when they put their minds and hearts and souls into something.

Those two bombs have hurt and killed and maimed. Their intention was to destroy and cause fear. But they cannot stop us from creating beauty out of chaos, they cannot maim our ability to love and reach out and create alone or together works that celebrate what it means to be a human being among human beings. They cannot stop art from happening and overwhelming the world with joy and beauty and light.

I urge all of you, in response to this tragic event, to create something beautiful, something worthy, something challenging, something funny as an oppositional response to this destructive event. Share your creations with me, with others, with the world or just hold it in the palm of your hand and know you have stepped on the other side of the line away from hate and fear and destruction.

My thoughts are with my Boston brothers and sisters today. May they find answers and closure and love and begin the journey of healing as soon as possible.

On Watching my Own Movies

Wayne Pyle in Peace, Love and Misunderstanding on SHOWTIME

Last night, I finally caught Peace, Love and Misunderstanding, a film I worked on a few years ago with Catherine Keener, Kyle MacLachlan, Jane Fonda and Elizabeth Olsen in one of her first film roles.

The funny thing about this film is the way I ended up getting bumped up in pay from "background" to supporting because of the encouragement of Catherine Keener. I was cast as a party guest for the opening scene of the film and we shot it up here in the Hudson Valley with a contemporary home in the woods standing in for a mid-town pied-a-terre.

Director Bruce Beresford and I had a great meeting when I came in to audition and we chatted for about 20 minutes about life and Australia and acting and at the end of the meeting I read a few lines and then he said he wanted me to be in the movie, he just wasn't sure what he wanted me to do.

I showed up on set and got dressed and by the time we got called to the set, I was starving. It was a dinner party scene and the food they were using was quite good. I had no lines, so I just started tucking in, thinking, my character is the guy who just eats food while everyone else is having brilliant and witty conversations.

As we started shooting, the discussion around the table was supposed to be about plays in New York and how Eugene O'Neill's plays were long, boring, and no longer relevant. All of the extras nodded in agreement and Catherine thought the scene sounded false so she said, "Oh, come on, someone should disagree." I piped up and said, "I've got something."
Catherine looked at me and nodded. The scene started Again and when everyone started complaining about Eugene's plays, I put down my fork and said, "Oh, come on, the guy has like eight Pulitzers or something." Kyle McLachlan stared and didn't know what to say because his next line didn't quite respond to that, so Bruce told me to wait until after Kyle said his line. We did several more takes and after being scolded by the props person for eating too much of the dinner, Catherine turned to me and said, "That's how you get ahead in this business." It was a pretty awesome moment in my filmmaking career and a part of LLC for me.

Another Shot

As the semester winds down, my thoughts turn to summer and the prospect of acting work.

As you know, last summer I played 40 roles in Becky Mode's one person show, FULLY COMMITTED, at Shadowland Theatre. I was terrified. But I faced the fear, jumped onstage and made it through the summer, relatively unscathed.

A few weeks ago I got a call from Brendan Burke, the artistic director or Shadowland, saying that there was a possibility of remounting the show in Binghamton, NY.

We went up there to meet the artistic director and I launched into a few of the lines, which surprisingly, I still remembered. But the the old fear crept in and I went up on my lines and stopped.

The director was interested and worked out a deal with Brendan so that we'll put the show up in June and July.

And now, I need to prepare for another battle. The show is a monster of memorization and I'm starting to work on each section now so that I am not gripped by such terror when I'm standing at the top of those stairs waiting to enter.

I want to be in a place where I have excitement and anticipation about how the audience is going to react rather than a heart-pounding, brain wrenching feeling that I may get completely lost at any moment.

I will probably still use my cheat sheets, but I'm hoping that they will be there just for emergencies. I work a little more each day, getting clearer, trying new character choices, deciding where beats need to land.

This is the work. This is the joy. This is the life...LLC!

Back to the Blogging Board

Wayne Pyle ©2013 Dima Otvertchenko

It's that time of year when everyone starts making new year resolutions and then promptly breaks them a few weeks (or in my case, a few hours) later. So, I've given up on making resolutions...much like my partner, Heidi Eklund, says she is doing in her blog Natural Thoughts from a Busy Voiceover Mommy.

Instead of resolutions, Heidi made some realizations about herself and by acknowledging those, she's hoping to make some small changes that will lead to more joy. I've decided to follow her lead and do the same. No more resolutions, just realizations that will lead to small, positive changes that can add up to more joy over time. 

When you fly a plane (in a flight simulator for me most of the time), any large over-corrections cause your plane to veer far off course and if you try to wildly over-correct your previous over-corrections it eventually leads to a virtual crack-up. Thankfully, it's only virtual and the plane resets and you can fly again in just a few moments. 

By making small corrections over time, however, you can avoid cracking up altogether and get your plane back on its proper flight path and land safely (and THEN get back to work instead of messing around with the flight simulator...glad I'm not making any resolutions about not playing computer games). 

I think the same is true in our lives. Making small corrections over time will help us find those paths that lead us to more happiness and fulfillment.

Currently, I work several part-time jobs in academia. I'm directing GLASS MENAGERIE this Spring at SUNY Dutchess. I'm actively seeking film and television work and participating in two new play readings, and raising my son, Willoughby. I'm also trying to stay active in the lives of my other two sons, Alexander and Stephen, who live with their mother in Pennsylvania. Time seems scarce and tensions run high. When I start to feel this way, I know it's time to make small corrections to stay on course.

The first small correction I'm making is getting back on this blog to help clear out the MIND CLUTTER. This is a good exercise for anyone who has too many things on their mind. By EXPRESSING the thoughts you are having, you will find your mind clears and allows you to process those thoughts that are just steamrolling around in your mind.

The second small correction I'm making is reaching out to more people who might be in a position of giving me work or creating work with me in the film, theatre and television industries. I realized that I have not been doing a very good job of this overall in my career and, yet, I've been fairly successful. I'd like to see if I can make a profound difference in my career by making a small, effective, change. Rather than send out lots and lots of emails, postcards, headshots, resumes to everyone, I'm going to target the people I'm interested in working with. I will post how things go here.

The third small correction and the final one for this entry is that I'm going to try looking for new income streams in addition to the traditional ones I've been pursuing. This might mean more publishing, more writing, more getting ideas out there, more trying of new things that I might have not thought of before to see what works and what doesn't. I want to push myself just a little more in that direction and see if any of it can make a difference - small corrections that can lead to greater overall change.

Let me leave you with a connection to a cool blog called Tiny Buddha by Lori Deschane. This entry is about 40 Little Things that Make a Big Difference in Your Day. Try doing one or two and let me know how they worked out for you. Enjoy and keep LLC'ing!

WP
http://imdb.me/waynepyle
@waynepyle 

Fully Committed

It has been too long since I've last blogged about my experience acting in Becky Mode's one person play Fully Committed, but the journey has been an intensely fascinating one and I am going to be publishing a lot more commentary about the experience soon.

I've learned a hell of a lot from this job and I'm eager to share a list of about 30 amazing things that I have learned or have been brought to my attention by doing this show.

I stopped blogging right about day five or six into the rehearsals not because I was too busy or didn't get "around to it" but because the time and energy it took to get this show up and running left no time at all for sitting and thinking about the experience while I was in the moment of experiencing it. 

I had imagined when I started the process that I would be able to recap each day's rehearsal after I got home, but I often found myself continuing to work on the show long hours after I left the theatre and just crashing after the work. Now that we are open and heading into our last two weekends, I want to look back on the journey and share my thoughts from the past with this, my now future, self.

Needless to say, I survived the rehearsal process, but there were times when I was not quite sure that would be the case. I'll share all of that with you as well, but for right now, let this short blog be a placeholder. Here is a link to a review of the show for now and I may have a few comments on that review at a later date, too.

A review:

A Fully Committed Evening of Entertainment at Shadowland Theatre

A slide show and some improv with the various characters of the show

In the meantime, if you've seen the show, please contact me and let me know what you thought. We still have two more weekends and we play on Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sunday at 2 p.m. at the Shadowland Theatre in Ellenville, NY. Thank you for your patience while I explored the play as deeply as I was able to. I look forward to sharing more of this all-engaging, sometimes-frustrating, ever-fascinating, often-humbling process with you soon. Keep Living Life Creatively and I'll see you on the boards!

WP

http://imdb.me/waynepyle

This Present Moment: Day Four and Day Five

The experience of life comes down to one of two options: either you are 

enjoying this present moment or you're not. Why not enjoy it?! #ypg

Day Four and Day Five of rehearsal each had their own challenges. I was exhausted after day four because we worked through the biggest chunk of the play and I was frustrated again that my mind wouldn't learn everything faster. I found out that I wasn't breathing, I was trying to do things too quickly and I was using a lot of negative self-talk that wasn't helpful at all.

Day Five kind of started off in a bad way because I was still feeling the stress of day four's rehearsal and couldn't get myself to calm down enough to just breathe through everything. I called Heidi again and she allowed me to vent a bit, which helped a lot. Sometimes just acknowledging that the doubts are there can be a very powerful was to keep them from taking control. It's when we resist what is there that it persists. So acknowledgement can be a very powerful tool for actors and others whenever we are feeling stuck. As usual she helped me to calm down just by listening very openly to my concerns and making a few suggestions.

I sat on a gazebo bench in the rain and breathed for a little while, starting to enjoy the day and the process and realizing that getting myself worked up wouldn't help. I went through my notes, went through my lines for the day and surprisingly, there was a lot more of them retained in my brain than I thought would be. I made a decision then and there to "enjoy the moment I was in" rather than wish for another and today's rehearsal went fairly smoothly. I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I am starting to learn the story and figure out what I need to supply when in order to make it as powerful and entertaining as possible.

I'm starting to look forward to the opportunity to get much more comfortable over this next week as I get the play deeper into my body and mind so that we can go into tech week with lots of energy and excitement about opening the play strongly for the audiences here in Ellenville.

After having a nice dinner of leftover homemade pasta and some delicious fresh tortilla chips from Gaby's Cafe, a wonderful local eatery, I took a long walk while going over the lines and beats and characters and I felt much better by the time I got back to the house, took a shower and then crashed for about an hour while my brain processed what I had learned today. On my walk, I stumbled upon the "haunted Shanley hotel" on my journey and took a picture of a Connecticut Paranormal Research Team vehicle that was parked outside. If you'd like more information about the hotel, visit http://www.shanleyhotel.com/.

Peace, Love & Misunderstanding or Day 3

Elizabeth Olsen, Jane Fonda and Catherine Keener in Bruce Beresford's PEACE, LOVE & MISUNDERSTANDING

I thought tonight's blog should be about the film PEACE, LOVE & MISUNDERSTANDING for several reasons. First, I'm in the film and the story about how I got involved is kind of interesting. Second, I'm feeling Peace, Love and Misunderstanding for the whole process of working on FULLY COMMITTED right now and wanted to share that with you as well.

I met Bruce Beresford, the film's director, after going to an open call for extra's for Peace, Love & Misunderstanding. They called me back in and I went to the BCDF film studios in Kerhonksen, NY to meet with the famous director. We had a chat, I read some scenes and he said that he'd love to have me do something in his film. He just wasn't sure what. I thought that was interesting but kind of unclear.

I showed up on the set that day as an extra for a dinner party scene. No one had sent me a script, and I didn't have any sides until that morning. I just had my nice suit and was hoping to sit next to Catherine Keener at the dinner table. Sure enough, they called us onto the set and I was just to Catherine's right. She introduced herself graciously, but was in complete concentration mode, fully in character and it was really amazing to watch her work. Bruce directed her gently, getting shades and nuances out of her character that must come across as really powerful on camera. I learned a lot from him that day as well. When I'm on set, I try to learn as much as I can while I'm there.

They served us our dinner party dinners and I was actually kind of hungry since I hadn't eaten all day, so I started to dig in. The props people asked me to take it easy on the food and I laughed, because I realized I was chowing down and everyone else was talking at the table, so they weren't eating very much. When we got to a certain part of the scene, the other extras were all agreeing with Kyle MacLachlan's character about how mundane and old-fashioned Eugene O'Neill's plays were and how they should never be performed. We all nodded in agreement, "yes, oh yeah, definitely" but it seemed kind of weird to me.

Prior to showing up on the set, I had done some research on my smartphone about O'neill and his plays, just in case some improv might be called for. Sure enough, Catherine stopped the scene and said, "I don't think everyone should agree with him, someone should disagree." So I said, "I have something." Then I choked back my asparagus, because I put myself out there. We ran the scene again and when everyone else was agreeing with Kyle's character I piped in and said, "Come on, the guy has like four Pulitzers" which is true. I may have exaggerated and said eight, I can't remember. I haven't even had a chance to see the movie yet, so I don't even know if I'm still in the scene. I am still listed in the credits on IMDb, so I'm assuming I'm still in the movie. I hope I get a chance to see it soon.

Anyway, Bruce cut and said he liked the line so keep it in. But I kept stepping on Kyle's lines so he told me to wait until after he said the line to throw mine in there. It was a funny and awkward moment and Kyle seemed kind of peeved with me, but I thought it was a good line and so did Catherine. After we were done shooting, she leaned in and said, "that's how you get ahead in this business." It was quite a thrill to work with and talk to someone whose acting work I really admire and I was also bumped up to a day player, which increased my salary significantly. It's the most I've been paid to improv to date!

So now, with day three of rehearsals under my belt for FULLY COMMITTED, I have to let you know I was a little freaked out tonight and was feeling a bit of misunderstanding for myself. I'm still worried about getting all the work done that needs to be done and I was kind of freaking out that I wasn't PERFECT in the part yet (after three rehearsals). My voice is also a little tired because we worked some pretty exhausting sections of the play today, so the worry about the voice holding up also came up for me. But after talking to Heidi, my wife, she helped me realize that I really just need to be focusing on where I am, not where I would like to be, because that is completely useless. She was right, of course, as she usually is, and I went back to work on my lines, still having some trepidation, but with a much more peaceful and loving attitude. As I worked on the lines and the work of the PLAY, I started to realize that, "oh yeah, I really enjoy doing plays and performing and since this frustration and the tiredness is all part of it, I should allow that to be there as well because it is all part of it and wishing that it wasn't there is using energy that I could be putting into getting the work done." Although it is frustrating right now, I have to trust the process and know that "the work will get me there, not the worry."

The film Peace, Love & Misunderstanding opens tonight and I'll be here in Ellenville at the Shadowland Theatre still working on my lines and blocking. I hope audiences will enjoy everyone's performances in the film, even the "party guest" who is stuffing his face and throws out a random line about O'Neill's Pulitzer Prizes. Let me know if you see the movie and if the line is still in there and whether or not you can tell Kyle MacLachlan was kind of annoyed with me. 

*Update: Saw the movie, line was cut, my facial expression was awesome! Keep LLC'ing people.

WP

http://imdb.me/waynepyle

Day Two: Rollercoasters and Cash

My brain hurts...

Oh. My. Goodness. Day two was tough. Lines I thought I knew went flying out of the door that was somehow placed in my skull the night before as I was sleeping. Even though I had worked on the script all day before I went in at 4, everything just seemed kind of...slippery. I was nervous and skittery and needed to calm down.

Confidence shattered, Brendan reminded me that it was only the SECOND day of rehearsal. I breathed. I stretched. We worked through each of the moments, clarifying what each of the characters wants and how Sam, the actor character, reacts to them. Adding in the blocking and tricky finger choreography with the phones was mostly the cause of the lines flying out of my brain, but as I repeated each beat, the familiar feeling of a play getting into my body and brain started to come back.

Every time I would go offstage and wait for Brittney, our stage manager, to call "Lights!", I felt like I was strapped into a rickety, old, wooden roller coaster that was clickety-clacking slowly up a very steep grade and as soon as I came down the now imaginary steps and started into the lines of the play, it was the same stomach-churning excitement as that first drop on one of those familiar amusement park rides.

Brendan is so great because he is very, very specific about the play and the characters. He's helped me so much as an actor and as a director because he can really see what the whole play needs and develops the moments to serve the play. Brilliant work which I really appreciate and aspire to. 

I stayed after the call time a bit to just go through everything several more times and when I got back to the actor housing, I was beat. I allowed myself to have a bit of dinner and watched a little t.v. and it seemed kind of strange because I have not watched any television since I started working on FULLY COMMITTED. I spoke to Heidi then I crashed into the bed, dreaming of Carolanne Rosenstein-Fishburn yelling at me from her Long Island mansion. (Carolanne is one of the recurring characters in the play.)

An interesting thing that happened yesterday was that I stumbled onto these wealth manifesting videos from some acting sites I was looking at. The strange way that I came across these sites was that I got an errant email from an acquaintance. She accidentally sent me an email, I contacted her, cleared that up, but in the process of trying to figure out where the email was coming from, I came across some acting groups on LinkedIn, a site I'm still trying to figure out. 

While looking at these acting group sites, I stumbled onto a wealth manifestation video. I watched it, listened to it with earphones and it said that "people would give me money" and that it would work very quickly. On my way to rehearsal, I walked by a van parked outside of Aroma Thyme, a really nice restaurant here in Ellenville, and I heard, "Excuse me, excuse me, do you want to make some quick cash? My mom needs help carrying all of these groceries upstairs."

I was kind of floored, because I had just been watching the manifestation video. I couldn't actually accept the cash though, because I was rushing to rehearsal. Interesting coincidence or actual manifestation? Maybe something BIGGER is on its way.

WP
http://imdb.me/waynepyle
@waynepyle